What’s with the zombie craze? Zombies are half alive, half dead, right? Sounds like my wife in bed.

“One scoop of ice cream can go a long way. Not to mending friendships, but it ca…”

“A Cyclops on a unicycle juggling three giant eyeballs couldn’t compare to the b…”

“My shoes are scuffed and dirty from dancing. The grave of my enemy is where I g…”

“I try to put myself in another man’s shoes. Or a woman’s, if she has large enou…”