When I burp I’m not just pushing polluted air into the world—no, I’m espousing my belief on the true nature of politicians.

“Sometimes I pretend I'm from the 19th century. Then I drive around and say, Wow…”

“I used to think that Satan and all the fallen angels were the most evil beings …”

“Blankets could be used to stop exponential population growth. If we kept the pe…”

“For dinner I had seared sneer with a glaze of distant gaze, and a side of mashe…”