When I didn’t know him I punched him in the face. The best part about him is his nose.

“In a depression, attendance to sporting events goes down, while the percentage …”

“Question for your life: If love existed an octave above where your vocal range …”

“He was a man I came to respect. Not because he wore Ziploc bags for socks (he h…”

“Not getting laid can be a crippling experience, but then I don't go looking for…”