When I get to heaven, and I see a being of light, I’m going to ask him if he’s the urologist.

“I let wine breathe. And I hold my breathe, so it can get all the air.”

“If someone asks you what the most popular form of transportation is, before you…”

“I want to do something spontaneous, like combust.”

“A glazed banana peel is not for eating, it’s for innuendo.
”