When I got married, I could not have chosen a more gorgeous, loving, or perfect woman to crush than the one I broke up with to be with my wife.

“I am the washing machine of love. And if you have no idea what I mean, maybe it…”

“If a man is powerful, then his rival must therefore also be powerful. The other…”

“The most deadly combination known to man is low IQ and high testosterone.”

“My motto: I’ll do it today, or tomorrow, or the next day, or not.”