When I see a cop’s lights behind me at two in the morning, and I have my disco ball dangling from my rearview mirror, it’s like, Hey, a party! Especially if I’ve been drinking.

“Boob, like the object it identifies, is such a well-rounded word. It’s as if “B…”

“I have a handicap on the golf course like you wouldn’t believe. It’s more than …”

“I’m like a tree frog when it comes to birthdays. Basically, my thoughts on birt…”

“I can’t go out tonight, because unfortunately I’m all tied up at the moment. I’…”