When I see a poor person I think of me, and then I think, maybe I should pay my clones for all the work they do for me. Then I think, nah, they’re only slaves. Through my clones, I am a slave to myself.

“If the world were coming to an end tomorrow, I’d probably call in sick to work.”

“I’m so hungry I could eat some silverware.”

“The earliest I’ve ever been late is on time.”

“I don’t think our president is doing a good job, but I think he’s doing a great…”