When I was two, a year was half of my life. It must have felt like forever. But when I’m 99, a year will whiz by. Life will go fast, even if I probably go very, very slow.

“When I go out to eat at restaurants, I don’t like chains. I prefer whips.”

“In the off chance I’ll be turned on, I keep a light switch in my pocket. (Who t…”

“He’s only two years younger, but that doesn’t mean I’m not old enough to be his…”

“I don’t like boxing. I prefer bagging.”