When I’m competing to be on the bottom during sex, I always come out on top.

“A blanket could be used to stimulate the topographical terrain of a mountainous…”

“Sometimes I give automated responses to people without even listening to what t…”

“I’ll wipe a booger on your wall, not only to say I was here, but also to say th…”

“I want a camera shaped like a jail, so I can capture a ghost on film.”