When I’m tired, I say, “I’m calling it a night.” Well, what else am I going to call it? Nathan?

“A brick could be used as a middle name. But who’d be dumb enough to do that, wh…”

“Cats are like walking brooms you can actually comfortably cuddle with.”

“Men are from vaginas, and women are from women.”

“If your last name were Seldom, I’d use it often.”