When it seems like the sky is about to collapse, relax, that’s just the roof caving in.

“My new mustache is barely big enough to cover my pubic region.”

“I wanted to make her a greeting card, but as far as I got was folding the paper…”

“He looked me right in my eyes and told me he just ate a sandwich, and I had to …”

“A brick could be used for bric-a-brac. If you bring the brick, I’ll bring the b…”