When my ex girlfriend left, I was crushed. Why’d she have to drive off in a steamroller?

“I used pleading insanity as a threat, and now I employ it as a party favor. (Th…”

“I brought horny in a brown paper bag from home that I’ll break out at lunchtime…”

“I’m in great shape. I’m 30 years old, and I feel like I’m 29.”

“After learning the foreign language Gibberish, I became a dream spokesman.”