When you said you were ugly it was the most untrue thing you’ve ever said. Well, it’s true!

“If somebody tells me and my wife to get a room, I always ask, How about the kit…”

“I surround myself with salt, so it soaks up the humidity from my steamy solo lo…”

“A blanket could be used to swallow up the nightmares you used to have as a kid.…”

“What does a man do when he robs a bank? Last week I ran like hell.”