Who needs a thermometer? That’s what my nipples are for.

“Can I park my horse in the handicapped parking space? It is gimpy and sort of c…”

“I know that man started animal husbandry thousands of years ago, and I think it…”

“This morning my girlfriend was so loud in bed that we woke up the neighbors. So…”

“I bought you a gift. It’s something I’ve always wanted, but I’m not quite sure …”