Who you gonna believe, bitch? Me? or your lying eyes?

“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic…”

“Do you know how you felt when you would lean all the way back in a chair, and j…”

“I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, "I wanna grow up and be a cr…”

“Crosses only scare vampires away because they're allergic to bullshit.”