Why go to remote parts of the world? If they’re remote, just turn them on and watch them on your couch.

“The whole world is dying. Just too slowly and naturally for my liking. Somebody…”

“I’m older now than my dad was when he was my age. Wait, that’s not right. That’…”

“I look for patterns that nobody else does. Like I noticed that my face looks li…”

“Have I ever been in love? Have your ears ever itched from inside your urethra?”