With anal sex, I suggest you start gently. Find a slender midget. Or a member of Congress.

“Somebody took my bicycle tire, my bicycle seat, and both my pedals. They stole …”

“The bands of color in a rainbow remind me of my band, Bands of Color. We’re not…”

“Both sexes have assholes, and both sexes have nipples. Yet only asshole is a ge…”

“I look like a million bucks, but I feel like shit. Thanks, inflation!”