Writer’s block, I just drove around it four times. All my favorite writers live there.

“I wouldn’t want the guests at my birthday party confusing my celebration with t…”

“When I’m not eating, sleeping, working, or doing a hundred other things, I’m ma…”

“I enjoy scratching itches on my body with my beard stubble. The worst though is…”

“When I’m tired, I say, “I’m calling it a night.” Well, what else am I going to …”