Yesterday I went to see a doctor. I woke up with a sore throat, congested sinuses, and invisibility. But when I got to the doctor’s office, he refused to see me.

“The old me is younger than the me now. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“A brick is like fruitcake. You don’t want to use it up all at once, and in fact…”

“Like a vibrator bolted on a bulldozer, I’m a regular sex machine.”

“I can feel the weight of her love. It feels like a purse on my shoulder. When i…”