You can believe history books when they tell you when wars were fought. You just can’t trust them as to why.

“My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if…”

“It’s hot as a watermelon in this cantaloupe called pineapple. And that’s a fact.”

“I peed on the floor to get hired. Now I’m the janitor. 
”

“I say yes, turn the other cheek, and let me slap your butt again. Forgiveness c…”