You don’t have the shadow volume to sit next to me in the sunshine of truth.

“I just started seeing someone, which is a relief, because the last girl I dated…”

“I watch my feet as I walk along. Left, right, left, right, why is everything ab…”

“I don’t just love you, I love you a 9.7. I would love you a 10, but who do you …”

“My ex girlfriend said she’d never cheat on me. Well, she did—with an accountant…”