You have the opposite of poker face. You have like.. miniature golf face.

“He showed me a sketch he'd drawn once during meditation. It was an androgynous …”

“Felipe and I, as we discover to our delight, are a perfectly matched, genetical…”

“Given that life is so short, do I really want to spend one-ninetieth of my rema…”

“What I said to God through my gasping sobs was something like this: 'Hello, God…”