You know what really chokes me up? Being strangled.

“There are at least two sides to every issue, and I like my issues sunny side up…”

“He was just a kid. He didn’t care. He was like, “I’m getting in my mom’s van an…”

“You could say I lost my cool when I got heckled, but I wasn’t cool to begin wit…”

“I am the bathtub of desire, but damnit woman, I saw you eyeing that swimming po…”