Your penis is a whistle. My penis is a flute. And I’ve got a tromboner for your girl.

“If love were a glove, I’d wear it on my foot like a goldfish in a silver mine. …”

“My last phone call was totally uncalled for. Well, not totally. More like 99.88…”

“Standing in cat litter is not the same as walking on the beach. Trust me, you c…”

“If I were a cop, and I caught a criminal, I’d throw the book at them. A heavy b…”