I went to the juice isle, I learned something. Cranberries are taking over everything. What do you got, apples? Put some cranberrise in there, make it 50/50. Cran-apple. Grapes? Cran-grape. Mangos? Cran-mango. Pork chops? Cran-chop!
Brian ReganMots clés stand-up-comedy
This is the material, by the way, that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for the past 15 years. Gee, I wonder why we're hated the world over? Look at these fat Americans in the front row - 'Why doesn't he just hit fruit with a hammer?' Folks, I could have done that, walked around being a millionaire and franchising myself but no, I had to have this weird thing about trying to illuminate the collective unconscious and help humanity. Fucking moron.
Bill HicksMots clés americans stand-up-comedy
On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did.
Bill HicksMots clés stand-up-comedy
I don't know if you've noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the mirror.
Lewis BlackMots clés black stark stand-up-comedy raving
The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is that vampires are allergic to bull shit.
Richard PryorMots clés humor vampires stand-up-comedy richard-pryor
It seems to me that they only seem to mention things in the Bible that are within a 5 mile radius of the guy writing it.
Jim JefferiesMots clés bible comedy scepticism stand-up-comedy
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