Feelings are like blankets, covering you up so you can't see clearly, or like mazes you can too easily get lost inside. I am terrified of getting lost.
Corey Ann HayduTag: inspirational love feelings ocd
It's like, I'm scared and there're a lot of ugly things, but I'd rather be shipwrecked on this lovely island than safe in a sad, gray cell.
Corey Ann HayduTag: hope taking-chances
It feels like giving up.
It feels like falling into bed after an all-night rave.
It feels that right.
It's surrender. It's that thing I have been searching for.
I close my eyes and make a wish that I'll stop having OCD so that I can be a decent friend again. If I want it badly enough, hopefully it will come true.
Corey Ann HayduTag: ocd
I try Dr. Pat's breathing exercises but they're not working because my entire mind is focused on keeping myself glued to the couch. I don't want to move any closer to the bathroom just in case. But I hate myself for the thought. I know it's not right or normal. I know I'm not simply some cute quirky girl like Beck says, and every moment I can't get off the couch is a moment that makes me one level crazier. That heavy, pre-crying feeling floods my sinuses and I drop my head from the weight of it. Cover my face with my hands long enough to get out a cry or two. Because there is nothing, nothing worse than not being able to undo the crazy thoughts. I ask them to leave, but they won't. I try to ignore them, but the only thing that works is giving in to them.
Torture: knowing something makes no sense, doing it anyway.
Tag: ocd
Carrying all of these thoughts is downright heavy.
Corey Ann HayduTag: ocd
I think of everything and I'm pretty sure if I could use my organizational skills for something else, like wildlife survival kits or preparing people for nuclear warfare, I'd be a millionaire. Or at the very least actually a useful human being.
Corey Ann HayduTag: ocd
Torture: knowing something makes no sense, doing it anyway.
Corey Ann HayduI guess I wonder what it would be like, to be living their live instead of mine.
Corey Ann Haydu...The human mind is a complicated place...We hold on to things, images, words, ideas, histories that we don't even know we're holding on to.
Corey Ann HayduTag: inspirational-quotes sad memories ocd
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