If you don't vote, you're a moron.

Craig Ferguson


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Congratulations to the NBA champion Boston Celtics - they beat the Los Angeles Lakers by 39 points.

Or as Hillary Clinton would say, "Too close to call.

Craig Ferguson


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The Universe is very, very big.
It also loves a paradox. For example, it has some extremely strict rules.
Rule number one: Nothing lasts forever.
Not you or your family or your house or your planet or the sun. It is an absolute rule. Therefore when someone says that their love will never die, it means that their love is not real, for everything that is real dies.

Rule number two: Everything lasts forever.

Craig Ferguson

Tag: paradox love eternity time infinity universe forever



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I think commercialism helps Christmas and I think that the more capitalism we can inject into the Christmas holiday the more spiritual I feel about it

Craig Ferguson

Tag: spiritual capitalism christmas commercialism



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This book could scare them. The sex, the violence, the dream sequences and the iconoclasm - I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with that. I understand that. It was very uncomfortable to write some of it

Craig Ferguson


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It's a book. It's mine. And it's done.

Craig Ferguson


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Oprah's quitting in 2011. Now we know why the Mayans ended their calendar in 2012

Craig Ferguson

Tag: oprah 2012 mayans



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Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

Craig Ferguson

Tag: food cows tasty



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I didn't say no because between safety and adventure I choose adventure.

Craig Ferguson

Tag: adventure



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He will know from and early age that failure is not disgrace. It's just a pitch that you missed, and you'd better get ready for the next one. The next one might be the shot heard round the world. My son and I are Americans, we prepare for glory by failing until we don't.

Craig Ferguson

Tag: success failure glory american



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