I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor politics love sex funny corruption congress politicians

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Love is inaudible—until you hear it. And once you do, you’ll never forget the sound of her voice.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: love relationships memory forget listen voice never once sound amy hear inaudible

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Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor love writing god sex relationships funny amazement writer editing transformation lover absence amazing commas sex-god transform word-junkies

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I love like I’m thirsty. Can I offer you a tall glass of Sahara sand?


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor kindness love food funny desert hospitality thirst drink thirsty sand sahara

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To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor life honesty love deception women lies relationships funny lie denial illusion illogical honest deceit machine deny suspicion broken lie-detector word-junkies

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If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor love woman women murder time relationships necessity funny crazy justification husband wife desire need insane want alibi yearn justify word-junkies

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I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor love men women romantic romance sleep sex relationships funny sleeping intensity focus intense reserve not-romantic make-love word-junkies

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She gave me money to buy condoms, and instead I bought a book of baby names. That’s life. That’s love. That’s fiscally irresponsible.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor life money love sex funny trust responsibility babies names birth irresponsible condoms baby baby-names fiscally-irresponsible

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I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it’s a 5-point scale, though I asked her on a 1-100 scale.



Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor love deception funny question deceit answer numbers scale deceived delirious rating rate

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If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor love funny value worth worthy bronze word-junkies medal silver-medal

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