Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!
Dylan MoranEverybody is corrupted by hotel rooms. You can't help it. It's the only place in the world where you walk in and the first think you do is steal everything before you take your coat off.
Dylan MoranI'm a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. It's amazing I'm here at all.
Dylan MoranDon't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.
Dylan MoranTag: humour comedy monster standup
[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they bore you.
Dylan MoranWhy do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could hope?
Dylan MoranIts not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today… and there are other pressures.
Dylan MoranTag: humour
And I'm not saying it's a bad song, you know, or anything like that. All I'm saying is that if you get, I don't know, a broom, say, and dip it in some brake fluid, put the other end up my arse, stick me on a trampoline in a moving lift, and I would write a better song on the walls. That's all I'm saying.
Dylan MoranTag: humor humour song dylan broom funk-soul-brother moran
I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.
Dylan MoranLove in all its forms is very difficult ... to express. It changes, obviously. If you’re young, and you’re romantically in love with somebody, and often if you’ve just met somebody, its crazy! It’s completely overwhelming. You can’t think of anything else. You just want to climb inside the other person and live under their pancreas. And then it mellows, somewhat... to the point where you can barely look at them... without feeling a mild distaste
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