A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Fred AllenTag: conference-meeting
A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.
Fred AllenI like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.
Fred AllenYou can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer’s heart.
Fred AllenA human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
Fred AllenThe last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand.
Fred AllenAn actor’s success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
Fred AllenCalifornia is a fine place to live, if you happen to be an orange.
Fred AllenTag: funny
I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
Fred AllenTag: humor
You only live once. But if you work it right, once is enough.
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