Noli nothis permittere te terere
Henry N. BeardAbyssinias
"I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: A huge four-footed limestone form
Sits in the desert, sinking in the sand.
Its whiskered face, though marred by wind and storm,
Still flaunts the dainty ears, the collar band
And feline traits the sculptor well portrayed:
The bearing of a born aristocrat,
The stubborn will no mortal can dissuade.
And on its base, in long-dead alphabets,
These words are set: "Reward for missing cat!
His name is Abyssinias, pet of pets;
I, Ozymandias, will a fortune pay
For his return. he heard me speak of vets --
O foolish King! And so he ran away.
Tag: humor cats ozymandias percy-bysshe-shelley
To a Vase
"How do I break thee? Let me count the ways.
I break thee if thou art at any height
My paw can reach, when, smarting from some slight,
I sulk, or have one of my crazy days.
I break thee with an accidental graze
Or twitch of tail, if I should take a fright.
I break thee out of pure and simple spite
The way I broke the jar of mayonnaise.
I break thee if a bug upon thee sits.
I break thee if I'm in a playful mood,
And then I wrestle with the shiny bits.
I break thee if I do not like my food.
And if someone they shards together fits,
I'll break thee once again when thou art glued.
Tag: humor cats elizabeth-barrett-browning
The noisy jay swoops by and reviles me, he complains of my meow and my malingering.
I too am not a bit subdued, I too am uncontrollable,
I sound my splenetic yowl over the roof of the house."
(From Meow of Myself, from LEAVES OF CATNIP)
Tag: humor cats walt-whitman leaves-of-grass song-of-myself
You can never know where I am or what I am,
But I am good company to you nonetheless,
And really do regret I broke your inkwell."
(From Meow of Myself, from LEAVES OF CATNIP)
Tag: humor cats walt-whitman leaves-of-grass song-of-myself
Mealtime
"A mousie squealing in a trap
Woke me from my morning nap.
Wasn't he so very sweet
To tell me it was time to eat?"
(From A CAT'S GARDEN OF VERSES)
Tag: humor cats robert-louis-stevenson
Ah, fish, there is no fare
Quite like a flounder! They surely will not miss
A piece or two from stacks of sole like this;
I'll steal a few, but leave the lion's share.
Look! the lamplight on the lane is pretty
They're back from walking out on Dover Beach.
I think I'll hide and spare myselpf the speech,
For we are in a world untouched by pity
Where ignorant humans curse the kitty."
(From Dover Sole)
Tag: humor cats matthew-arnold
If you can try to nap where someone's sitting,
Although there is another empty chair,
Then rub against his ankle without quitting
Until he rises from your favorite lair;
If you can whine and whimper by a portal
Until the bolted door is opened wide,
Then howl as if you've got a wound that's mortal
Until he comes and lets you back inside;
If you can give a guest a nasty spiking,
But purr when you are petted by a thief;
If you can find the food not to your liking
Because they put some cheese in with the beef;
If you can leave no proffered hand unbitten,
And pay no heed to any rule or ban,
then all will say you are a Cat, my kitten.
And -- which is more -- you'll make a fool of Man!
Tag: humor cats rudyard-kipling
From CATS ARE KIND
"I saw a dog pursuing automobiles;
On and on he sped.
I was puzzled by this;
I accosted the dog.
'If you catch one,' I said
'What will you do with it?'
'Dumb cat,' he cried,
And ran on.
Tag: humor cats stephen-crane
From CATS ARE KIND
"A man said to the universe,
'Sir, I exist!'
'Excellent,' replied the universe,
'I've been looking for someone to take care of my cats.
Tag: humor cats stephen-crane
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