Given time, a ship's crew will attach sexual innuendo to anything. It makes their jobs more exciting.

James Alan Gardner


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Sometimes all the procedures in the world can't protect you . . . but that's no reason to walk up to something that looks like a lion and kick it in the ass.

James Alan Gardner


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That's the first rule of command; be consistent! You can be sadistic, you can be lazy, you can be stupid, but if you're consistent the crew will still let you sit in when they play dominoes.

James Alan Gardner


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Don't be a little paranoid; worry about everything, or let it all go.

James Alan Gardner

Tag: paranoia



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You clutch your comfortable excuses, saying, Someday I'll be brave, it won't take a lot, just give me one more chance and this time I'll grab it. .

James Alan Gardner

Tag: quest bravery quests



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Everyone's life is a mess. Everyone's. We all make mistakes . . . and not just little slip-ups. Major mistakes that hurt us and other people.

James Alan Gardner

Tag: mistakes



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We're ruthless bastards and we always play dirty.

James Alan Gardner

Tag: bastards



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If you agree to work for us, half the time you won't know the purpose of your duties . . . and when we do explain, we might not be telling the truth. But that's the real world, folks . . .

James Alan Gardner

Tag: work industry espionage



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I like people thinking I'm an asshole. Being an asshole is my life's vocation; I'm a goddamned asshole professional.

James Alan Gardner

Tag: assholery



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The council is a place where everyone schemes against everyone else, and people talk incessantly about Power with a capital "Pow".

James Alan Gardner

Tag: politics power government council



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