That worked great! Thank you so much. What next?"
"I don't know. I didn't expect you to live through it."
"Oh.

Jim C. Hines


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Torches," Porak ordered.
"This is dumb," Jig grumbled as one of the others handed out torches. "Why not run ahead and warn any intruders that we're coming? Maybe we should sing, too, in case they're blind.

Jim C. Hines


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A hundred feet underground, in a fake field beneath a fake sky, with an ogre slaughtered like no more than a rat to a cat, and he sends us to search for the unusual.

Jim C. Hines


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Watch your step," said Slash.
Jig stopped, fully expecting to be shot, poisoned, crushed, or maybe all three at the same time. "What is it now?"
Slash pointed to a pile of brown, slimy goo in the center of the tunnel. "Hairball.

Jim C. Hines


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That is a trial I must face," Veka said.
"No, that is a multiheaded snake thing, Jig snapped.

Jim C. Hines


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Do you know why happily ever after is a lie?" Snow asked. "Because life is change.

Jim C. Hines


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New rule: every fantasy author who doesn't treat horses like tireless hairy motorcycles automatically gets a Hugo.

Jim C. Hines


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Freedom of speech does not protect you from the consequences of saying stupid shit.

[Blog post, March 12, 2012]

Jim C. Hines

Tag: stupidity freedom-of-speech



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I like big books and I cannot lie.
You other readers can’t deny
That when a kid walks in with The Name of the Wind
Like a hardbound brick of win.
Story bling.
Wanna swipe that thing
Cause you see that boy is speeding
Right through the book he’s reading.
I’m hooked and I can’t stop pleading.
Wanna curl up with that for ages,
All thousand pages.
Reviewers tried to warn me.
But with that plot you hooked
Me like Bradley.
Ooh, crack that fat spine.
You know I wanna make you mine.
This book is stella ’cause it ain’t some quick novella.

Jim C. Hines

Tag: fantasy comedy-humor tome



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Your religious beliefs are your business. They are not and should not be the basis for law. If you use them as justification to discriminate against others, don’t be upset when others decide you’re an asshole."

[Blog post of July 26, 2011]

Jim C. Hines

Tag: belief religion law discrimination



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