For 3 days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but the phone calls taper off.

Johnny Carson


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Asked how he became a star, Mr. Carson once replied, “I started in a gaseous state and then I cooled.

Johnny Carson


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Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "storms suck!

Johnny Carson


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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

Johnny Carson


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For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

Johnny Carson


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people pay more to be entertained that educated

Johnny Carson


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Your chances of getting hit by lighting go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say "Storms suck!!

Johnny Carson


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I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.

Johnny Carson


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In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

Johnny Carson

Tag: humor insanity funny entertainment hollywood craziness psychotherapy therapy psycology



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If life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators dead.

Johnny Carson


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