Well, what was I to do? For the well-bred gentleman there was clearly only one recourse. I fucked him.

Mark Gatiss

Tag: humour



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One man's fish is another man's poisson.

Mark Gatiss

Tag: humor



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When I was your age — about, ooh, a thousand years ago — I loved a good bedtime story. The Three Little Sontarans. The Emperor Dalek's New Clothes. Snow White and the Seven Keys to Doomsday, eh? All the classics.

Mark Gatiss

Tag: doctor-who night-terrors



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I've heard of such a legend!' I gasped. 'A child descended from a union between Christ and Mary Magdalene!'
'Don't be so fucking stupid,' snorted Mons. 'There's hundreds of those!

Mark Gatiss

Tag: humor christianity



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I imagine John Watson thinks love’s a mystery to me, but the chemistry is incredibly simple and very destructive. When we first met, you told me that a disguise is always a self portrait, how true of you, the combination to your safe – your measurements. But this is far more intimate. This is your heart, and you should never let it rule your head. You could have chosen any random number and walked out of here today with everything you worked for. But you just couldn’t resist it, could you? I’ve always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage. Thank you for the final proof.

Mark Gatiss

Tag: love sherlock-holmes



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It was all quite ghastly and I was very fond of it.

Mark Gatiss


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All pleasure should be a little bent, don't you think?

Mark Gatiss


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If not exactly raging against the dying of the light, I was at least a little cross with it.

Mark Gatiss


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I'm pretty nifty at thinking on my feet, even when I'm actually sitting down with a renter in my embrace, but this fellow's sudden appearance had me more than a little stumped

Mark Gatiss


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He was an American, so it seemed only fair to shoot him.

Mark Gatiss


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