I wanted to get in the car and drive, just drive. Just get to you. That’s all I could think of, was
getting to you. But I knew I had to sober up first. So I went out, to the beach. I thought if I
walked awhile that might help. And it was cold, you know? The water was cold. I thought if I
splashed some on my face…well, if I took a swim. That would help. I thought I’d only jump in, get wet. I thought it would only take a few minutes and I could be on my way. To you.”
His voice snagged like a burr on silk. Heat leaked from the corners of Bess’s eyes and slipped between her lips. Salt water. Always salt water.
I was stupid,” Nick whispered.
You didn’t know,” she whispered back.
It took my feet out from under me. And all I could think of was how you were waiting, and I was going to fuck it all up again. How I was going to let you down.
Tag: deeper
All I know with utter certainty is this. Dan tamed me. We need each other.
He has become unique to me in all the world.
He hadn’t been her first lover or the first boy to give her an orgasm. He hadn’t even been the first she’d loved. He’d been the first to turn her inside out with something as simple as a smile. The first to make her doubt herself. He’d taken her deeper than anyone ever had, and yet she hadn’t drowned.
Megan HartBess had become the ocean, always breaking against the rocks but never staying broken. Her love was the ocean, too, endless and always changing, yet forever the same.
Megan HartHe put my fingertips to his mouth and kissed them. Licked the trace of blood away. Made them clean.
Then I knew the truth I had been denying. He made me clean. Dan made me clean and shining and bright. He made me beautiful, and I did not want to lose him.
Memory can refuse to let you forget what you’d like to and run away with what you want to remember. It’s an unreliable bitch, or your best friend. Sometimes, it’s both at once.
Megan HartWhen everything changes we learn who we really are. What’s really important. What we want
most. We discover the truth in moments of disarray.
I looked at the cards in my hand, the queen of hearts nestled between the king of clubs and the king of spades. No wonder she was smiling.
Megan HartThe past doesn't change no matter how much time you spend thinking about it. Good and bad all add up to the whole. Take away one piece, no matter how small, and the whole changes. Whether it's optimism, pessimism or fatalism, I don't spend my time wishing for the past to be different so present would be different, too. I control my future with what I choose now.
Megan HartSometimes grief is a comfort we grant ourselves because it's less terrifying than trying for joy. Nobody wants to admit it. We'd all declare we want to be happy, if we could. So why, then, is pain the one thing we most often hold on to? Why are slights and griefs the memories on which we choose to dwell? Is it because joy doesn't last but grief does?
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