Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.
Milton BerleTag: wordplay definition
When opportunity doesn't knock, create a door
Milton BerleIf evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton BerleTag: evolution motherhood intelligent-design
I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
Milton BerleLaughter is an instant vacation.
Milton BerleJews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering.
Milton BerleI'd rather be a 'could-be' if I cannot be an 'are' because a 'could-be' is a 'maybe' who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a 'has-been' than a 'might-have-been' by far; for a 'might-have-been' has never been, but a 'has' was once an 'are.
Milton BerleYou can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
Milton BerleWe owe a lot to Thomas Edison-if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
Milton BerleA man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, "Did you miss a step?"
"No," he answers, "I hit every one of them!
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