There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.
Robert BenchleyTag: paradox
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert BenchleyTag: humor
There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children.
Robert BenchleyMost of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
Robert BenchleyI can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.
Robert BenchleyEvery boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one
Robert BenchleyDefining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Robert BenchleyThe surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
Robert BenchleyTag: humor
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
Robert BenchleyOpera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
Robert BenchleyTag: humor funny opera bleeding stabbed
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