I felt I was drawing close to that age, that place in life, where you realize one day what you'd told yourself was a Zen detachment turns out to be naked fear. You'd had one serious love relationship in your life and it had ended in tragedy, and the tragedy had broken something inside you. But instead of trying to repair the broken place, or at least really stop and look at it, you skated and joked. You had friends, you were a decent citizen. You hurt no one. And your life was somehow just about half of what it could be.
Roland MerulloTag: love tragedy denial mediocrity broken-heart settling
I have a tremendous fascination with the United States of America, the grand, swirling variousness of it, the way it siphons off the ambitious, the poor, and the abused from so many other nations, the ability we seem to have to be noble and heroic at the same time as we are being arrogant and stupid.
Roland MerulloThe frown again. So much contained there in the flex of a few muscles. All of history, it sometimes seemed to me. All of ours, at least.
Roland MerulloI thought I heard a cow mooing in Seese's back yard. Later on, later down the road, as they say, I would learn that this was the sound of the Rinpoche chanting some ancient prayer. But, at that moment, it sounded to me very much like a mooing cow.
Roland MerulloSome people use their own hurt as an excuse for hurting others
Roland MerulloTag: inspiration hurt hurting hurt-feelings
You keep telling yourself it will be different. Year after year, time after time, you keep telling yourself things might change. It's what makes people go back to people they shouldn't ever go back to.
Roland Merullo...it was like being in the start of an earthquake. Before that, whatever else happened, however bad things had been, you were at least sure the ground would stay still.
Roland MerulloIf Christ's message could be distilled down to one line, that line would have to do with kindness and inclusiveness, not rules and divisiveness.
Roland MerulloIsn't mockery the province of the insecure?
Roland MerulloWe see our troubles through the filter of our own imperfection...
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