Dale's family is like that. Let the Law come within twenty yards of them, and every male over the age of six--uncles, brother, father, cousins--starts lying his fool head off. Dale says it's genetic. Miss Lana says that's poppycock.

Sheila Turnage


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For me, it was a Gold Star day. I'd identified an enemy, and I'd made a life decision: I might come home tore up from fighting or late from being punished, but I'd never come home crying. So far, I ain't.

Sheila Turnage


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You what?" Dale yelped, looking like I'd handed him something dead. "You ain't writing during summer vacation, are you? I'm pretty sure that's against the rules.

Sheila Turnage


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Except for that, everything's going great. Well....there's been a murder and we're out of soup.

Sheila Turnage


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Dale can't tolerate other people throwing up. He gets what's known as the Synchronized Heaves.

Sheila Turnage


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My heart leaped like the cheerleader I will never be.

Sheila Turnage


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Yes ma'am," I said, "Anna Celeste's party is Saturday, but I don't need a ride.... No ma'am. It's because Anna Celeste is my Sworn Enemy for Life and I'd rather go face-down in a plate of raw chicken entrails than go to her party. Plus I'm not invited....

Sheila Turnage

Tag: humor



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Never underestimate the power of stupid.

Sheila Turnage


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There's no limit to what some people will say, and what others will believe.

Sheila Turnage


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The Colonel says all attorneys should be named for blood sucking insects so we know up front who we are dealing with.

Sheila Turnage


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