Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Steven Wright

Tag: humor-hawaii

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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor memory amnesia

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Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor perspective walking

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If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor

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If God dropped acid, would he see people?

Steven Wright

Tag: humor-god-acid

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There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor fishing

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I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor sci-fi sf

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Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?

Steven Wright

Tag: humor

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I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor-reading-poem

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I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor tarot

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