Not only had he lost the only girl he'd ever loved, he'd lost her in duplicate, like some heartbroken but highly efficient civil servant.
Tom HoltTag: humor
Just when you’ve squared up to the solemn realisation that life is a bitch, it turns round and does something nice, just to confuse you. - Emily Spitzer, The Better Mousetrap
Tom HoltTag: thought-provoking-humourous
Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms - if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.
Tom HoltTag: lies
Among the gods, there is a dispute as to which one of them originally thought of Christianity; or, as they call it, the Great Leg Pull. Apollo has the best claim, but a sizeable minority support Pluto, ex-God of the Dead, on the grounds that he has a really sick sense of humour.
How would it be, suggested the unidentified god, if first we tell them all to love their neighbour, pack in the killing and thieving, and be nice to each other. Then we let them start burning heretics.
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Thanks anyway,' Vanderdecker repeated, and wandered off to have a stare at the sea. It was his equivalent to beating his head repeatedly against a wall.
Tom HoltIn his dream, George Stetchkin was in the dock at the Central Criminal Court, accused of the murder of nine million innocent brain cells. The usher was showing the jury the alleged murder weapon, an empty Bison Brand wodka bottle. Then the judge glared at him over the rims of his spectacles and sentenced him to the worst hangover of his life.
Tom HoltTag: humor
Mostly I sit at home in the evenings watching the box and hoping that one day I'll evolve into plankton.
Tom HoltHuman beings can get used to virtually anything, given plenty of time and no choice in the matter whatsoever.
Tom HoltTag: adaptability
Love is an optical illusion that makes you believe the object of your affection is the most beautiful person in the world.
Tom HoltThe conscientious arsonist doesn't just set the building on fire; first he fills the fire extinguishers with petrol.
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