Sven knew jungles better than anyone; he’d spent his childhood in the Swedish outlands, an unforgiving place.

Vernon D. Burns


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Deep down, it's all baseball, no matter what kind of geometrical shape you play it with.

Vernon D. Burns

Tag: existentialism baseball sports



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He thought he saw some horses, too, and a clown, but it was the faces of all those dead raptors that really bothered him. And maybe that clown a little bit.

Vernon D. Burns

Tag: humor death horse clown raptor



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For here he was, barely able to tread water, some gargantuan lizard in the water with him, and the most beautiful woman in the world decapitated and bobbing on the water.

Vernon D. Burns


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Baby, where we're going, you won't need a shirt.

Vernon D. Burns

Tag: romance sexy



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Then we’re already dead, Robert. We’re already dead. Think of poor Michael. He was horribly disfigured and had that space rash, but he served a purpose! He could clean and sanitize the latrine like no one else. And the engine crew? They’re dead, too, Robert. They’re dead, too.

Vernon D. Burns


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Caris set off into the nearby trees and walked a few feet beyond them, thankful for a break from Rita’s worry. He unzipped his pants and let them fall to his ankles, then he squatted down and began to urinate.

Vernon D. Burns


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Her foot squished into the soft ground as she walked. She stooped down and pressed her fingers into the damp earth. Raising them to her nose, she inhaled. Urine. Human.

Vernon D. Burns


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Unfortunately for Sampson, the naked mole rat was in heat at the moment.

Vernon D. Burns


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That scorpion is turning me into a human! Quick, stop him! Before the transformation is complete!

Vernon D. Burns


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