What are you doing?'

If I texted back too soon, he would think I wasn't doing anything and then he would probably try to come over. I watched another episode before texting him again: 'Watching Kim K. shop for a dress. You?'

He texted back: 'Standing outside your door'.

Shit!

Whitney G.

Tag: romantic-comedy take-two



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When I first saw you tonight," he lowered his voice and whispered in my ear, "I wanted to drag you out of here, drive you home, and fuck you in every room of my house for the rest of the weekend.

Whitney G.

Tag: mid-life-love



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I don't want to hear any bullshit about how 'forgiveness' helps you sleep better at night,' because that's not true. (My seven layer mattress is amazing.)

Whitney G.


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I got an 'A' in Business Marketing in college!- as if that means a goddamn thing in the real world...

Whitney G.

Tag: funny sarcasm



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I was planning to end this phase after a few weeks, but after one particular meeting, the lead advisor asked me not to come back. She said she'd noticed that every time I was asked to give a suggestion about an ex-husband to a grieving divorcee, I always said, "You should have him murdered.

Whitney G.

Tag: sarcasm divorce



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Are you going to promote every man that flirts with me?"

"no. I'll fire whoever does it next.

Whitney G.


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