Well we've left behind the 200X's, and we move onto the 20XX's. Maybe that will finally make us feel like we're living in the future, rather than a media controlled slave state where an iPhone is worth substantially more than a human life. Happy new year.

Yahtzee Croshaw

Tag: life past future time human 2010 iphone yahtzee-croshaw



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I had passed on from life, from the world of struggles and hardship and big fat women with annoying laughs, and entered a glorious new existence of utter peace, and joy, and love.
And then some git brought me back to life

Yahtzee Croshaw


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He seemed to notice for the first time that we weren't exactly rushing to his side, but were mainly watching him as a zoo patron would watch a crazy monkey, curious but ready to move at the first sign of poo-flinging. There was a minute of awkward silence before someone near the back with their head held under their arm said "who's this twat?

Yahtzee Croshaw


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I am a crab. I am thinking crabby thoughts. I am tightening my grip on this rock with my big red pincers.

Yahtzee Croshaw


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His perpetual grin was wider than any I'd ever seen, and that included several guys I'd known at Dreadgrave's with no skin on their faces.

Yahtzee Croshaw


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So, Americans, then. Self-appointed vigilante defenders of the world, kind of like Superman, if Superman was retarded and only fought crime when he felt like it.

Yahtzee Croshaw

Tag: america funny americans superheroes



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The cruelest thing you can do to an artist is tell them their work is flawless when it isn't

Yahtzee Croshaw

Tag: truth art critic artist flawless



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Pimpin' ain't easy and neither is long division

Yahtzee Croshaw

Tag: dragon-s-dogma-review



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Nothing ruins a good thing quite like knowing you share your opinions with mindless little tits.

Yahtzee Croshaw

Tag: opinions criticism funny-but-true fans



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A good story is like a good bowel movement: it's only really satisfying once it's ended, because if you just keep going eventually your body runs out of shit and moves on to pushing all your internal organs out your sphincter until only a foul smelling shell remains and anyone who wants to get into your incredibly long poo gets turned off because they have to go through all the poo up until that point to have the necessary context.

Yahtzee Croshaw


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