18 rules for not getting caught. 1-17: don’t tell anybody. #18: not even your clone.

“A car is a couch with wheels. My windshield wipers don’t work, so I’ve decided …”

“I’ve been giving my armpits mixed signals, may they come to know peace, prosper…”

“There are going to be a lot of eyes on this year's annual Blindfold Convention.…”

“I can’t fly with one wing. But I can’t go hungry either, and I already ate both…”