A blanket could be used like a friend, if you’re the sort of person who uses their friends.


“A blanket could be used to fix your broken marriage. You’ll also need duct tape…”

“Last night I slept like a baby. In a crib.”

“The girl I used to love is no longer a girl, and this saddens me more than our …”

“A mustache on a stick would not only be tastier than a popsicle, but ticklier t…”