A blanket could be used to hide my shame and cover my insecurities. But so could a camouflaged condom.


“I like mirrors as much as the next guy, except if the next guy is my clone.”

“A brick could be used to stop a train. But I’ve got a better way to stop a spee…”

“Flatulence is the international language. Speak it with your anus. Hear it thro…”

“What is man’s shared IQ? And more important, how thick should my body armor be …”