A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate how it would work. 


“I didn’t win a championship, but I did pop some champagne bottles—and a few loc…”

“Apple is the Ferrari of the computer world. I’m not sure if the “engine” is sup…”

“Nobody likes a dick. Except a pussy. Or an asshole. Or a goat’s mouth.”

“I’ll do anything for money. Anything except work.”