A blanket could be used to warn your enemy that you are coming—and that you are warm. Where’s the cold war when you need it?


“She wants the kids, the cars, the house, and the white picket fence. I said sur…”

“If pens doubled as bullets, I bet few writers would want to write about war.”

“Babies look better when they’re all dressed up—in bacon.”

“If my clone weren’t dead, or rather not in nonexistence, he would have probably…”